Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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