'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
