Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
