There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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