I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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