What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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