covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
