Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize