Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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