and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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