in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
