I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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