You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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