i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
