so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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