this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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