He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
