Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize