I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize