operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
