Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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