dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
