waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
