you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
