I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
