while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
True college students do jello shots in the library
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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