hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We left an ass print on the piano.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
