I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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