Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
bring money and cleavage
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
organizing the empties. That sober.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize