hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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