I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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