GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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