just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
