ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
