apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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