there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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