Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
