arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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