Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
