I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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