YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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