I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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