ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize