just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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