duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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