He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
