fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
