remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
