I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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