"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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