Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
