He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
