she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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