I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
