the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
