thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize