i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
