Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
