Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
