no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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