White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
