i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
