i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
