Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
